I called my nephew J to tell him "Happy Birthday" today. I jokingly asked if he was turning 11 or 12. He says, "No, I'm 14. I can drive in a year and a half!".
Someone is going to give him a learner's permit in a year and a half?
This is the boy who, when he was small, downed a Kool-Aid Burst while his little friends egged him on with a chanted "CHUG! CHUG! CHUG!", giving my sister an unpleasant glimpse into the frat-boy years.
This is the boy who went to a birthday party, had a smidge of pizza, and a whole lot of brownies, came home and ate some candy, then was too full for dinner but miraculously talked his dad into a Mountain Dew. We peeled him off of the ceiling 3 days later after the sugar buzz finally ended*. The entire event made Hammy the Squirrel from "Over the Hedge" look lethargic in comparison.
This is a kid that's going to get a learner's permit in 18 months? Stay out of Wisconsin after February 12, 2012.
*My sister would leave me alone to care for our mother in her elder years if I didn't say that she wasn't there when crapfest happened and that she's very conscientious of what her kids eat.